27 July 2006

June Journaling

In our study of Ephesians during the Precept Boot Camps, we investigated the several passages speaking of the Stone, the Living Stone, the Chief Cornerstone--the Christ! The primary passages for these are found in Psalm 118:22, Isaiah 8:13-15, Isaiah 28:16, Matthew 21:42-44, and Romans 9:30-33. Reading these, I composed this verse...

O Christ, our Chief Stone
both tested and precious--
Be Thou our standard
of Life and of Love!
Break us to pieces--
then, Spirit, come seal us:
Make us Your Dwelling-place,
ne'er to remove!

If you will allow me, I'll share also a piece of my journal with you all. I pray it is not too personal! This is my journal entry from June 11, a Sunday morning in which long prayer led me to this heartfelt plea before the Lord:


In Your sanctuary sitting--
What, Lord, has my heart here brought?
Dread when joy is more befitting?
Fear when peace was dearly bought?

Might this poem become a hymn? Lord, in my spirit the words are true--You Who see my heart, know my attitude: I am relishing my discontent, I am longing to run away to search for You elsewhere, to find You in faces, eyes, hearts now unknown. Where would I go? Lord, You are everywhere! I would go, I am ever going to You. I would not, for Your Life, stand still for the sake of ease. May I run, Lord, and find You where I run?

Lord, the greatest passion I have ever felt in the Spirit rose within me when I was ministering to the believers both elderly and young in India--teaching from the Word. Now, Lord, I ask You--shall I always be looking back to those days and never pursue that passion more? I know that I am far fro ma perfect teacher, minister, or man...but, Jesus, I long like Spurgeon that You would light me on fire for the preaching and teaching of the Gospel! Burn me for it, even when I doubt! Mark me, seal me, release me...

And so I reach a boundary--for I cannot perceive how all You have given me in talents, passions, gifts or loves shall be fulfilled, employed, exercised and stretched-to-breaking in this place, this church. Imagination rings like a church-bell bellowing in a locked room, needing all the walls blasted away to ring loud in spacious places--and I fear that while the door remains locked and the walls stout, then I shall only see a piece of You as through a window, and in my life You shall be boxed, contained, having walls when You ought to explode in boundless glory! I want to know You boundless; I want to run and never find Your end! May I, Lord, run and find You unending and almighty, wherever my feet may go?

I feel tense like a dart fitted to the bow-string, awaiting release...but as I wait, these two things I will do: I will be devoted to You in obedience through prayer and reading the Word, that I might be near You, and I will reject comforts, deny myself ease and comfort while I live here, that I would know clearly that I do not remain for the sake of ease (for I know my casual temperament is tempted by such). These seem fitting resolutions--may it please You, Lord, to honour these by pointing where I will run!

This journal entry from June 11, the Lord is answering in ways strange but solid. Many praises to the living God...be eager, O my soul, and hunger and thirst for Him.

1 comment:

Broadstone said...

These are really great thoughts, Dave. I liked the Spurgeon allusion..."The need is biblical doctrine, so understood and felt, that it sets men on fire."

Enjoyed our recent chats...good stuff.


Kelly B